to carry on
There’s a part of this trip through france that will always feel the way that song makes me feel, that says everything I want to say, that is everything I want it to be.
Impermanence. A word that lives so deep inside me it’s maybe always been all of me.
This transient life racing everywhere because I want everything, to be everywhere, to see and do all that I can with my sure to be too short life. And so I wanted to fade and never worried about how nothing lasts.
Even gods die, even suns supernova out, and one day there will be no more days, no more universe, no more everything.
And it comforts me, still. To know that I’m but a part of this endless phasing out.
But I want this to last.
You made me feel at home, for the first time in a lifetime of running. To just be near you.
And I fear that we will only be Dreams. You will be mine and I will be yours.
Our shared dream reflecting in one another’s eyes, refracting into thousandths, into only photons until we vibrate and shine as one only to come undone by thousands of miles and the millennial caverns of the heart.
So please, remember me.
It’s funny how strangers can become so much more. How the world looks different after meeting you, how it sounds and feels and tastes like I’ve never been here before.
And it’s beautiful and sad and maybe even cruel, to have to end it here, like this.
I don’t want it to end.
do your favorite dance
you being in love
will tell who softly asks in love,
am i separated from your body smile brain hands merely
to become the jumping puppets of a dream? oh i mean:
entirely having in my careful how
careful arms created this at length
inexcusable, this inexplicable pleasure-you go from several
persons: believe me that strangers arrive
when i have kissed you into a memory
slowly, oh seriously
-that since and if you disappear
solemnly
myselves
ask “life, the question how do i drink dream smile
and how do i prefer this face to another and
why do i weep eat sleep-what does the whole intend”
they wonder. oh and they cry “to be, being, that i am alive
this absurd fraction in its lowest terms
with everything cancelled
but shadows
-what does it all come down to? love? Love
if you like and i like,for the reason that i
hate people and lean out of this window is love,love
and the reason that i laugh and breathe is oh love and the reason
that i do not fall into this street is love.”
